My Brush with COVID-19

 After nearly two and a half years I decided to visit my parents in Chennai in Dec 2021. It was meant to be a short two week trip. I landed in Chennai the day after Christmas. Unfortunately on Jan 2nd my Dad tested positive for COVID. Although his symptoms were mild, I was advised to rush him to the hospital as a precautionary measure. Due to his age and co morbidities he was admitted in the hospital and his treatment was started immediately. Within two days I also tested positive for COVID. Although outwardly it may seem like we were in great suffering inwardly this was a good period for spiritual observation and growth. Let me share the spiritual insights I gained during this tumultuous period through this blog post. 

With the onset of COVID my body ached like never before. It was 1000 times worse than the body pain caused during flu. I had done the Vipassana meditation retreat where we are taught to impersonally observe our body sensations and understand the habit patterns of the mind. I leaned on Vipassana teachings and impersonally observed my body pain. The mind has a tendency to swing between the past and the future. When you are in extreme pain, pain is a great anchor to keep your mind in the present moment. As I observed my pain, it just became an impersonal object of meditation. It dawned upon me that my body was suffering but not my mind. My awareness was just an immutable, silent witness to this pain. I knew this too shall pass so I did not reject the pain. I merely observed the body pain without rejecting it by doing the top down body scanning technique taught in Vipassana meditation. 

After the onset on infection on the second day I started experiencing chest pain and shortness of breath. The oximeter indicated that my oxygen levels were dipping. Based on the advise of local doctors I  admitted myself to the same hospital where my dad was admitted. The first night was interesting. I was not comfortable spending the first night at the hospital and I barely slept. It was a new place and the cleanliness was not up to the mark. Since I had recent travel history I was placed in an isolation ward. Two kind lady patients checked on me and asked me if I need any help. The nurse ran my vitals and almost all the vitals seemed normal including my oxygen levels. 

The next day morning I woke up and said my usual prayers. I have developed a daily routine of chanting Kanda Shasti Kavacham, Kanda Guru Kavacham and a few other Sanskrit strotrams to Lord Shiva. After saying the prayers I felt a deep peace within my heart. A warm energy flowed through me and that is when I realized that heaven is within ourselves. I was in a hospital down with COVID and I still felt utterly blissful inside. I prayed for the hospital staff and patients in the hospital but adopted an attitude of surrender. I asked the Lord for healing but at the same time I also ended my prayer with the words, "Let Thy will be done".  The attitude of surrender put me at complete ease. It dawned upon me that we suffer most when we mentally reject what is happening to us and question the turn of events. When we accept the situation as it is and develop an attitude of surrender, we operate from a space of love and equanimity. I truly felt the Lord bathed me with his unconditional love. Even as I type these words I feel His loving grace. 

Of course throughout the day there were times when I felt tense. My dad's health had improved and doctors had cleared him for discharge. I was worried that when my dad is discharged that there would be no one but my mom to help him at home. My mom was also in her 70s, so she was in the vulnerable high risk category. So far my mom had tested negative and I was worried for her safety. The strength of my morning prayers kept me going. Everyday when I chanted my daily prayers during my hospital stay I had the same experience of love and grace flowing through me. Around me I could only see positivity. Although there were other patients in the hospital suffering just like me, I was touched by their friendliness. Some of them had been placed on longer periods of quarantine by the government but we all joked and made best of the situation. 

I really feel grateful for the care provided by the hospital staff. My dad and I made full recovery and we are both back home. This whole experience was an adventure by itself. It gave me an intimate insight into the working of the mind and the body. It was a deep spiritual journey. As humans we reject pain, but pain and suffering can be deep transformative experiences. I will end this blog with some verses from Kanda Guru Kavacham. The lines from this chant have always brought me immense strength and peace in trying times. 

ஸ்கந்தகுரு கவசமதைச் சொந்தமாக்கிக் கொண்டு நீ

பொருளுணர்ந்து ஏத்திடப்பா பொல்லாப்பு வினையகலும்

பிறவிப் பிணியகலும் பிரம்மானந்த முண்டு

இம்மையிலும் மறுமையிலும் இமையோருன்னைப் போற்றிடுவர்

Make this armour of Skanda Guru as your own.

Read it understanding its meaning and sins and bad name would vanish, 

The disease of birth would go away and the eternal joy would come, 

In this world and afterwards the gods would praise you,

மூவருமே முன்னிற்பர்; யாவருமே பூஜிப்பர்

அனுதினமும் கவசத்தை அன்புடன் ஏத்திடப்பா

சிரத்தா பக்தியுடன் சிந்தையொன்றிச் செப்பிடப்பா

கவலையகன்றிடுமே கந்தனருள் பொங்கிடுமே

The trinity would stand in front of you, and all people would worship you,

And so daily read the armour with mind full of love. 

With attention and devotion do it with concentration,

Worries would go away, the grace of Skanda would increase, 

பிறப்பும் இறப்பும் பிணிகளும் தொலைந்திடுமே

கந்தன் கவசமே கவசமென்று உணர்ந்திடுவாய்

கவசம் ஏத்துவீரேல் கலியை ஜயித்திடலாம்

கலியென்ற அரக்கனைக் கவசம் விரட்டிடுமே

The disease of death and birth would go away, 

Realize that armour of Skanda is the only armour, 

If you read this armour, you can win over Kali age (Kali Yuga). 

The armour would drive away the ogre called Kali, 

சொன்னபடிச் செய்து சுகமடைவாய் மனமே நீ

ஸ்கந்தகுரு கவசத்தைக் கருத்தொன்றி ஏத்துவோர்க்கு

அஷ்ட ஐஸ்வர்யம் தரும்; அந்தமில்லா இன்பம் தரும்

ஆல்போல் தழைத்திடுவன்; அறுகுபோல் வேறோடிடுவன்

You would attain happiness, if you obey what is said,

They who read this Kanda Guru Armour with concentration of thought, 

The eight types of wealth would come and endless joy would be theirs, 

He would grow like a banyan tree and send roots like a grass.

வாழையடி வாழையைப் போல் வம்சமதைப் பெற்றிடுவன்

பதினாறும் பெற்றுப் பல்லாண்டு வாழ்ந்திடுவன்

சாந்தியும் சௌக்யமும் ஸர்வமங்களமும் பெருகிடுமே

ஸ்கந்தகுரு கவசமிதை கருத்திறுத்தி ஏற்றுவீரேல்

Like Banana growing under banana his family would grow,

He would get sixteen good things and live for several years,

Peace, joy and all that is good would increase,

If this Skanda guru armour is read with attention,

கர்வம் காமக்ரோதம் கலிதோஷ மகற்றுவிக்கும்

முன்செய்த வினையகன்று முருகனருள் கிட்டிவிடும்

அறம்பொருள் இன்பம் வீடு அதிசுலபமாய் கிட்டும்

ஆசாரம் சீலமுடன் ஆதிநேம நிஷ்டையுடன்

Pride, passion, anger and ills of Kali age would go away.

The sins done earlier would go away and the grace of Muruga would be got, 

Dharma, wealth, joy and salvation would be attained easily, 

Following purity , obeying the rules and with discipline, 

கள்ளமிலா உளத்தோடு கந்தகுரு கவசந்தன்னை

சிரத்தா பக்தியுடன் சிவகுமரனை நினைத்துப்

பாராயணம் செய்வீரேல் பார்க்கலாம் கந்தனையும்

கந்தகுரு கவசமிதை ஒரு மண்டலம் நிஷ்டையுடன்

And with a pure mind if Skanda Guru armour, 

Is read with attention and devotion and thinking of the son of Lord Shiva. 

If you read it with devotion, you can see Kanda,

If this Kanda Guru armour is read with purity for forty days,

பகலிரவு பாராமல் ஒருமனதாய் பகருவீரேல்
திருமுருகன் வேல்கொண்டு திக்குகள் தோறும் நின்று
காத்திடுவான் கந்தகுரு கவலை இல்லை நிச்சயமாய் 

Without bothering whether it is day or night and with single mindedness,

The holy Muruga as Skanda Guru would come with Vel 

And stand in all directions, protect you, so please do not worry.